In this episode, Albie Neuenworth, along with several others, confront Jennifer Barrett at a get-together. This becomes another infamous battle royale when Jennifer's narcissistic attitude goes super Nova! Also, watch for Zachary Janson to rain on the snobbish ex-model's parade.
The Atchley Mansion. Everyone is again assembled for a welcome home party for Anyssa, who was released from the hospital a few days earlier after enduring a savage beating at the hands of Jennifer Barrett. She is walking with some help with a cane and assistance from her mother, Lahoma.
The rest of the group is assembled in the main dining room. Sam Lucas is talking with Craig Atchley. Dylan, Adam, Sheila, Allen and Roger are helping Anne Hamilton and Velda Smithfield with getting the food set up. Aaron Atherton is talking with Albie and Jason Mitchell. Libby and Darren D'Aiterio are talking with Aidan Atherton. They haven't seen him since he was six, and they are thrilled with how he's grown up and how he is recovering after what Jennifer had done to him.
A stirring in the crowd is occurring. Rhonda Whittenberg and her former sister in-law, Allegra Whittenberg, who are once again friends, are coming into the main ballroom.
ALLEGRA: Jennifer is coming along now, everyone. She's loaded for bear.
LIBBY: Loaded for bear?! Hah! That's a rich one! She couldn't load herself with powdered Jell-O!
(Albie, with Jason at his side, grins at his long-time best friend)
ALBIE (laughing): Hah! Nice one, Lib, my dear! That was HILARIOUS!
LIBBY (bowing and blowing her best male friend a kiss): Thank you, Albs!
(Only Albie's sister, Joan, his husband, his fraternity brothers and Libby; and people that he is remotely comfortable with, such as Dylan and Sheila; are allowed to call him by his nickname, Albs. Mainly they are people that Albie trusts and he's known for some time)
DYLAN: You know, you two are a great double act. You two click.
(Albie and Libby grin at Dylan)
LIBBY (again bowing): I thank you, kind sir.
ALBIE: Our niche since our college days.
JASON: Albie and Libby always keep us in stitches with their observations of life.
DARREN: They keep us from getting too serious.
RHONDA (grinning at Allegra and the others): Never mind the Jell-o! She's got enough Botox in her to sink a flotilla!
ALLEGRA: The Jell-O would only be extra padding!
(the assembled crowd laughs)
DYLAN: Good one, ladies, but here she comes!
(In saunters Jennifer, wearing a new fur coat that one of her adoring male model friends (read: flunky) gave her. She is smiling her usual smirking smile that she always wears whenever she gets her way.)
JENNIFER: Good, I am glad you are all worshipping me as I deserve!
(This aggravates everyone assembled)
AURORA: You have to be kidding me! Who'd want to worship your Botox laden wreck of a body?!
JENNIFER: At least, I work!
AURORA: Oh, really? Well, I work too, probably a lot more than you do, you insipid slut, I work day to day, owning my own bookstore! Unlike you, you Botox ridden bitch. All you do is sit on your ass and drink!
ANYSSA: Right, the only work you do is drive everyone crazy. You're no model, you're a wastrel.
JENNIFER: How dare you?!
ANYSSA: You wouldn't know an honest day's work for anything! You are a slag with no compassion or any soul!
AUGUSTA: Feh! You haven't the grace to carry off anything! You useless piece of baggage!
JENNIFER: Whatever, you useless battle-axe!
AUGUSTA: Miserable piece of vermin!
SAM: You have your nerve! You nearly killed my little girl. You should be in prison for hurting my daughter.
LAHOMA: My husband is correct! Get out of here, you don't belong here, especially after what you did to Anyssa.
JENNIFER: Shut up, you! I have every right to be here! And for you all to have a treat and worship me!
CRAIG: Oh, good grief! I think I need a drink! She's out for blood.
RHONDA: I think we all do.
DYLAN: I know I do, and I don't usually drink. But, like a good boy, I'll stay on the soft drinks.
SHEILA: Good idea, hon. This way, you'll be all right.
ANYSSA: I can understand it. And an excellent idea, Dyl.
JACQUELINE: And then we'll fumigate the place when she leaves.
(Albie and Libby glare at the smirking Jennifer, the idea of her being worshipped sickens them.)
JENNIFER: My beauty is so superior, the angels are jealous of me!
(Again, Albie is aggravated by her narcissism!)
ALBIE: Ohmigod! How many brain cells died for her to come up with that one?! I can't think of anything more revolting.
LIBBY: I hear ya, Albs. I would rather worship a blob of Silly Putty than that repulsive creature!
JASON: She looks even MORE ridiculous than usual. If THAT can be imagined.
ALBIE: I think, my darling Jae, with her, and considering who we're dealing with, I'd venture to say that's a fair assessment.
DARREN: How in the hell could Aaron have dealt with her all those years?! Hell, how'd we deal with her all those years at Elixir? Not to mention Aidan being abused by that slag. There were many times that I would have wanted to kill her!
LIBBY: I know, dear. You, me and everyone else at Elixir. Many is the time I have wanted to put her worthless carcass six feet under! Especially after what that whore did to me that night at the Viper Room!
(Albie nods in total understanding. He knows what night she is referring to)
ALBIE: Yeah, that horrible night. A night which will live forever in infamy! When that evil bitch decided that she was going to go and turn your world upside-down, Lib. She thought it would be such great fun to go and lie to the cops about what happened! She's the one who should have been arrested that night for filing a false report!
LIBBY: Yeah, she should have been arrested, the liar.
SHEILA: What she really deserves is a good swift kick in the pants!
DYLAN (laughing): You nailed it, there, hon.
(Sheila winks at Dylan, Albie, Jason, Darren and Libby. The twins knew all about Libby's rancor with Jennifer and what she pulled on her that night at the Viper Room.)
JENNIFER: Now, all of you, drink in my perfect beauty!
SHEILA: Please, I'd rather drink drano!
SHARMAINE: Delusional little slag, she is!
AURORA: I'd rather drink arsenic!
ARDITH: Looking at you is enough to make a saint flip out!
JASON: Witless liar.
(Albie is disgusted, he speaks and his voice becomes quite ghetto-fab, to everyone's amazement)
ALBIE: Perfect beauty?! Ya want us ta drink in ya so-called "perfect beauty"? Bitch, please! I'd rather drink a glass of Raid! Ya so deluded, ya drama queen! Ya worship only yourself 'cause nobody else can bear ta even look at ya! Ya delusional little nothin', that's all ya are an' all ya ever will be! Ya think everyone worships ya an' f' what?! Because ya nothin' but a washed up has-been of a model who never was?! Ya think ya so damned special, an' all that?! What kind of idiots do ya think we are?! We know what kinda person ya really are! An' ya certainly ain't anythin' so damn special, Miss Thang! Ya never have been an' ya never WILL be! Because of ya actions, ya recklessness an' ya nauseatin' attitude, ya're absolutely an' completely without question, persona non grata. Get me?! NOBODY wants anythin' ta do with ya! Did ya hear me, ya thick-headed narcissist?! Nobody! Nobody loves ya! Not even ya own family will have anythin' ta do wit' ya!
(Jason grins at Dylan)
JASON: Remember when I told you that when Albie gets very mad, he really can go into bitch mode? Well, feast your eyes on it. This is what I told you.
DYLAN (enthused) I see what you mean. He really does go into bitch mode. He's doing quite splendidly against her!
JASON: Yep, that's my Albie. (a look of worry crosses his face) The thing is though, when he really gets going, as he is now, his grammar goes ghetto-fabulous. It's a throwback to how he was before we met and he was hanging out with some gay guys in West Hollywood. They toughened him up and they are, as we are, quite protective of him. And if that isn't bad enough, the anger really drains him of energy and he gets rather emotional. I worry about him, but I can understand when he goes ghetto-fab on someone who angers him.
DYLAN: I can see that too. Poor guy. He really must despise her. I've never seen him get so angry.
AARON: He does. I think he hates her even worse than I do, Dyl. Especially since she seemed to get her joys in tormenting him specifically. She knew better than to cross us, but she targeted him all the time.
LIBBY: Well, right now, it looks as if he's holding his own against her, that is something I think.
JASON: Still, I worry.
AARON (kindly): I know you do, Jase. I do as well, so does everyone else. But Albie has us in his corner, the people who really love him very much. She has NOTHING. That's the difference. Whether she likes it or not, she's hated by all. But our Albie is loved. He always will be.
(Aaron and the others continue to watch the argument.)
JENNIFER (sneering): Oh, do you really think so?! You stupid pathetic nothing of a loser! My family LOVES me! They believe EVERYTHING I say about me! I am just so absolutely PERFECT! Who wouldn't love me? There is so much about me to be loved!
ALBIE (disgusted): Oh, willya look at ya self, Miss Thang?! Ya can't handle bein' told the truth, so much so, that ya go an' call me a loser! This comin' from the mouth of the biggest whore in alla Southern California. Ya really should look in the damned mirror, ya trollop! That's where the real loser is!
JENNIFER (heaving): But I am absolutely PERFECT! When they look at perfection, they look at me.
ALBIE: Bitch, PLEASE! They ain't nothin' perfect about ya!
SHEILA (giving Albie some much needed help): Yeah, Albie's right! You're far from perfect! You're perfectly DREADFUL, more like!
DYLAN: Yes! You give new meaning to the term dreadful!
(Albie sends the twins a grateful look)
ALBIE: Thanks, guys. Appreciated very much.
JENNIFER (screeching): How can ANYONE even THINK that?! I am the most perfect model in the world. I am in such high demand! I could win America's Next Top Model, you know! Everybody is clamoring for my services!
ALBIE (laughing in sheer scorn): Oh, please, Barrett! Just how long have ya been off ya bloody meds?! Ya have ta have been off 'em f' years ta even be spewin' such contemptible rubbish!! Ya couldn't even win the damned Westminster Kennel Club Dog show, much less a show like America's Next Top Model! Hell, ya'd be laughed right off that show by Tyra Banks, who knows what a fraud ya are. I doubt ya'd even be welcomed on RuPaul's Drag Race! They'd have gleefully thrown ya out on ya fake Botox ass! Ya'd also couldn't even win The Gong Show or even The Original Amateur Hour, either Major Bowes or Ted Mack, f'all a that. Hell, slag, ya'd even have been booed right offa Ed Sullivan! Ya ain't got no talent, aside from bein' a useless shrew. Why don't ya just shut up f' once in ya damned life?! If ya think people are clamorin' f' ya services, then ya really an' truly are outta ya bat-shit mind! Besides, ya gimme a sick headache!
JENNIFER: Can't stand the truth, can you?! Everybody loves me! They only love me! My modeling services are asked for worldwide!
ALBIE: Oh, really?! By who, Narcissist? Just who'd be asinine enough ta want ya services? Genghis Kahn? Attila the Hun? Napoleon? Mussolini? Hitler?! Oh, Hell's Bells, ya bitch, they'd be the only drips desperate or stupid enough ta want ya services!
JENNIFER: You bastard!
ALBIE: Oh really! Like that's supposed ta faze me? Hah, not bloody likely! If I were ya, I'd look in the mirror, bitch, if it doesn't break on ya, that is!
(Aaron comes to his fraternity brother's aid.)
AARON: You really ARE crazy, Jennifer! Nobody in their right minds would touch you with a BARGE pole...except to hit you with it!
JENNIFER (desperately): Oh?! If that's the case, then what about my contract with the Randolph agency?! THAT should tell you something, you loser!
AARON: Oh, you think so, do you? I'd not be so damned smug. Just wait, here comes the first surprise!
(Enter Joliette Manning. She gives Albie a gentle smile admiring his strength and courage; then she glares at her enemy.)
JOLIETTE (softly but angrily): You, like countless others before you, have made an error, Barrett. A GRIEVOUS error! And that mistake is going to cost you dearly! That error was that you underestimated me! You, like so many others who made that same exact mistake, only see one thing, but fail to notice other details. Yes, you only see me as a nurse at Mass General, but I am more than that. MUCH, much more than that. You should have listened to me, bitch! I warned you plenty of times about messing with me and my family and friends. And now you are going to pay for it!
JENNIFER (her face turning white): What do you mean?!
JOLIETTE (another smile crosses her face, this time it's a smile of savage glee): Oh, let me tell you what I did, dear. Besides being a nurse, I am also the heiress of the Manning Industries fortune! Yes, my parents are Steven and Monique Manning, one of the most powerful families in all of Upstate New York! They are on the same level and in the same circles as the Harpers!
(Jennifer is outwardly not concerned, but inside, her stomach sinks)
JENNIFER: Ha! As if you matter to me!
JOLIETTE: I would advise you not to underestimate me again, Barrett! You did it once, and it severely backfired on you, and I promise you if you do so again, the results will be the same! Anyway, I talked with Mrs. Randolph, the woman who you signed on with at her agency. She found out about what you did to Aidan and what you did to Albie over there. That was cause sufficient for you to be blackballed from each and every modeling agency in the country! She also found out that you viciously blackmailed her to have her sign you to her company. She ended your contract on the spot!
(Jennifer is stunned!)
JENNIFER (spitefully): You can't do that to me!
JOLIETTE: Oh, but I can, dear! I can and I did! Your career is finished!
(Aaron glares at Jennifer)
AARON: And make no mistake about it, Jennifer, it was I who let Joliette know what you did. She then told me about your deceit at the Randolph agency. And it was short work for me to help Joliette call every modeling agency in the country to blackball you from ever being represented. Also, we put a stop on ALL your royalties and residuals from your career! You have no money coming in now! Your career is officially finished!
JENNIFER (angrily): You piece of shit! I will destroy you all for this! I hope you all rot in hell for stealing my career! My career means the world to me!
JOLIETTE: Too bad, so sad!
(Joliette walks over and pats Albie on the shoulder)
DYLAN (in a voice of steel): Well, then, you miserable skank, maybe you should have thought about that when you were hurting your son!
JENNIFER (angrily): What I'd done to that brat is nobody's business!
DYLAN (infuriated): Oh, spare me that load of horse crap, lady! That excuse doesn't wash with me and you damn well know it! Permit me to remind you that it was you who made it our business! You brought us into this situation when it concerns Aidan! He's my son's best friend. The kid that you beat up with such cruelty. Derek cares about him, as does Sammy. Which leaves you out doesn't it?
JENNIFER (dismissively): Oh, shut up!
(Dylan sighs. It is clear that Jennifer is never going to learn!)
DYLAN: Oh, you insipidly STUPID woman! You just don't seem to learn, do you?! When will you get it? You dismiss us, it'll be at your own peril, lady! I warn you, you dismiss us, you'll certainly pay for it!
JENNIFER: I said, shut up! You losers are nothing to me!
SHEILA (furiously): No, bitch, YOU shut up! And we're not the losers, you are! You have caused so much pain, for me, my family and everyone else in this room. You nearly injured my sister, and you think that we're going to let you slide on that one?!
JENNIFER (smugly): Of course you will! Because I'm so cute and so very beautiful!
ALBIE (not buying her narcissism, he has never bought her narcissism): Cute? Hah! Not in a billion years! Beautiful?! Again, I say, Hah! Not a chance in hell! In fact, ya narcissistic homewreckin' trollop, the Gorgon Medusa, wit' a permanent bad hair day, would look 100 times more beautiful than ya would ANY day of the week, an' she had real snakes for hair! Ya just a disgustin' selfish little shrew, an' ya nothin' more than someone who looks beautiful on the outside, but the ugliness hides underneath the veneer! Ya a sick disgustin' piece of work who, ever since college, was a phony, a fraud, an' a lyin' hypocrite all across the board!
JENNIFER (self-piteously): Look at you, heaping hate all over me! Me! Someone who is so universally loved! You hate me! You've always hated me! (She starts to sniffle) You monster, you hurt my feelings and now I'm going to cry!
ALBIE (scornfully): Oh, please, Miss Thang! Don't go tryin' ta pull THAT on me! Ya fake cryin' act is f' the birds! F' one thing, ya ain't got the talent for it, an' second of all, ya fake as hell! Ya know I don't buy that act, I never have. Ya pulled it on me before, an' it didn't work. It sure as hell ain't gonna work now!
JENNIFER: See, you hate me! You've always hated me!
ALBIE (incredulous): I've hated ya?! I don't think so! Try the other way around, Miss Thang! Ya hated me from day one! Ya made it clear that I wasn't someone ya liked! Ya treated me like crap from the first minute I ever set foot on the UCLA campus, and ya know that fact as well as I do, ya drama queen! An' don't go playin' the pity party bit! That don't wash with me, an' ya also know that fact full well! What's clear is that ya nothin' but a manipulative shrew!
JENNIFER: I think I am just going to HAVE to call the police! I want sympathy, and you won't give me any!
(Albie can't stand her aggravation any longer. Thoroughly provoked, he finally loses his temper and his rage flows. Jason notices, to his horror, that tears falling down Albie's face.)
ALBIE (exploding): Are ya completely outta what's left of ya tiny bat-shit little mind?! This is really ridiculous! Sympathy?! Ya caused me no end of trouble since we were in college, an' ya want SYMPATHY?! Ya must be completely stupid, Barrett! No, ya not stupid, ya just damned bloody ignorant! All ya done, all ya've EVER done, since the first time I ever had the misfortune ta clap eyes on ya, is build ya self up by tearin' other folk down! That's been ya damned MO from the first day of college. Hell's Bells, the very first minute I was on that campus, ya tripped me as I was comin' from my first class with those damned ugly ass high heel boots of ya's. Then ta add flamin' insult ta injury, one of ya favorite tactics by the way; ya an' ya little pack a snobs were busy laughin' ya backsides off all the way down ta the quad an' all over Westwood. Hell, the whole campus heard ya! I am surprised ya weren't heard over the bells at the carillon!
(Aaron, Jason and Rusty put their arms around Albie, as do Darren and Libby, all of them burning angry glares at Jennifer)
JENNIFER: I had my right to trip you! I am far more superior than you are! You are nothing to me!
ALBIE: Oh, as if, bitch! Ya made it clear what everyone is, aside from ya! Ta ya, everyone is beneath ya an' deservin' of nothin' but contempt, while the rest of us hoi polloi have ta worship ya disgustin' Botox loaded backside! Ya think ya all that an' a bag of chips! Well, guess what?! I've gotta news flash f' ya, Miss Thang! Ya ain't all that! Ya never will be all that. Far from it! Ya less than nothin' ta the people who really matter! Ya backstab, ya lie, ya connive, ya threaten everyone wit' bein' arrested f'trumped up crimes, an' ya throw temper tantrums when ya don't get ya own way! Miss Thang, the litany of ya crimes is endless! Why do ya think nobody likes ya?! Even before she died, Sarah Jo told us that she would never forgive ya f'what ya did ta everyone. What ya did ta Aidan was the worst thing anyone could ever do ta a child.
JENNIFER: I don't care! I don't care what any of you have to say! You have no morals! I have more morals than anyone in this room! Most of you are in SINFUL relationships!
(This serves to infuriate Albie all the more)
ALBIE: Oh, izzat so?! And ya think what ya did wasn't a sin?! Ya stupid two-faced hypocrite! Well, ya can just shut the hell up about THAT one, ya slag! This time, I'm gonna have my say, an' ya gonna keep ya big trap shut! We're the ones callin' the shots around here, Miss Thang, an' ya not! Pound that inta that thick wool of ya's! Now ya really becomin' asinine! Morals?! Ya claim ta have MORALS?! And ya think ya haven't committed any sins?! Gimme a BREAK, Skank! I wasn't born yesterday as much as ya think otherwise! Did ya think ya were born this mornin' so holy that ya was as clean as God's fingers?! If ya think that, then ya really are an imbecile. Because that's a pack of bloody lies only an IMBECILE would believe. Ya hypocrisy is only dwarfed by ya massive ego! How many different men did ya sleep around wit' while ya was in college?!
JENNIFER: What's it to you?! My relationships with men were lovely. You are a heathen!
ALBIE: Plenty! And let's us not be callin' me a heathen, this ain't about me, ya slag, this is about payback f'all the pain ya put me an' the people I care about through! Anyway, I will ask again, how many different men did ya sleep wit'?! Ah, let's us see now! Ah yes! Let these facts be submitted ta a candid world! Ya slept around wit' anyone wit' a penis An' believe me, folk, it ran the gamut! The names are endless! Athletes, students, professors, janitors, administrators, ya slept wit' 'em all! What angers me the most is that ya even slept wit' ya humanities professor. It's a pity he never taught ya HUMANITY! Oh, yeah, wait! Ya failed that class, just like ya failed all ya classes an' everythin' else ya do! An' when ya fail, ya fail spectacularly! An' what about the numerous men ya cheated on Aaron with durin' that farce of a marriage of ya's?! Ya had more men come in an' out of that house of ya's like a revolvin' door! What did ya have there, a damned harem?! What aggravates me the most is the savage way ya harmed Aidan because ya were jealous of ya own son!
JENNIFER: How dare you?! I wasn't jealous of him! If anything, that brat should have been jealous of ME! That kid was nothing to me!
(Aidan burns in rage. Aaron calms his son down)
AIDAN: I hate her, Dad! I really hate her! She's so totally egotistical.
AARON: I know, buddy. I want to mop up the floor with her myself. Albie's got it under control. He's a strong person.
AIDAN: Still, I want to put her on blast.
AARON: Me, too.
(They watch Albie shred Jennifer)
ALBIE: Ain't that typical?! Ain't that just plain typical! Only what I'd expect from a piece a filth like ya! Aidan should've been jealous of ya! An' why is that, ya slut? Because ya so damned superior to everyone else?! I don't think so! Ya ain't anywhere near superior! Poor Aidan. He's the one I feel sorriest for! He took the spotlight off the narcissist, the so-called "star", because he needed his mother ta love him an' she was so damned busy thinkin' she was the center of attention that she couldn't bloody be bothered! Well, ya failed that kid, just like ya failed everythin' else! Not that ya give a damn, ya miserable slag, because ya didn't then an' ya still don't!
JENNIFER: So what?! I don't have to stand here and take this...this...abuse!
ALBIE (savagely): Oh, yeah ya will! Ya goin' to take every bit of this dressin' down, an' ya gonna like it! Ya've had it comin' ta ya f'quite a long time, madame, an' it's been long overdue! An' I said, shut up! I'll not repeat myself! Because of ya wicked schemes an' ya out an' out recklessness, ya nearly drove a young man inta a nervous breakdown! Again, not that ya gave a damn! Thank God f' Aaron! He had the good sense ta get his son inta therapy ta help undo a good deal of the damage! The damage that ya caused! But then again, ya own son didn't fit inta ya plans, did he, Miss Thang?! He never did, did he? Poor kid, he was nothin' more than a mere prop f' ya, ta show the world that ya were some kind of a model mother, when ya ain't nothin' of the kind!
JENNIFER: Why you!
ALBIE (not flinching) Oh, believe me, I knew all about ya plans, Miss Thang! Don't think I don't, 'cause I did! Ya may think I'm one of the stupidest creatures alive, but be assured of this, and burn this inta that thick wool of ya's, I am far from stupid! The only thing ya ever cared about was money! That's all ya ever really loved! Money, an' ya nothin' more than a gold-diggin' cheap-ass slut! All ya plans were that ya just had ta live offa Aaron's millions an' cheat on him wit' everyone wit' a penis An' then, when Aaron goes an' sleeps wit' Rusty only ONCE, ya scream, beef, an' throw a damned tantrum! It just shows what a hypocrite ya really are!
JENNIFER: SHUT UP!
ALBIE (continuing, ignoring Jennifer's screaming): Did I hear anythin'? Nope. I didn't hear a thing. Aaron cheats on ya only one time in his life, because of ya being the whore of Southern California, and ya throw tantrums an' hold a damned grudge against him f' a lifetime, but ya cheat on him whenever the whim hits ya wit' every man in the Southland an' ya demand him ta forgive ya an' take ya back all the damned time! Just how stupid are ya? Ya double-standards are exceedingly ridiculous an' completely hideous! I think ya nothin' but a vile, worthless, an' useless woman! Ya truly disgustin'! Why do ya think nobody in the world will even SPEAK ta ya?!
(All of a sudden, Albie's voice becomes tired, his voice still ghetto-fab, but the confrontation is beginning to take a harsh toll on him. Jason starts to get concerned.)
JASON: I knew it. He's getting fatigued. He's really tired. His voice is losing emotion.
DYLAN: Oh my. I see what you mean. We've got to help him.
SHEILA: Aaron, get him a chair, please.
AARON: Right, Sheila.
ALLEGRA: Rhonda and I will help him, too, Jason.
RHONDA: We're ready.
JACQUELINE: We're at your service.
ANYSSA: I'll get him something to drink. Mom? Albie needs help.
LAHOMA: I'm coming, honey. Albie, hang in there.
ALBIE (his voice devoid of emotion): Ya really make me sick, Barrett. Ya really turn my stomach. I really can't stomach the sight of ya one minute more! When I say ya gimme a sick headache, I mean it! Ya truly make me wanna vomit. I don't wanna look at ya ugly face ever again! Ya ain't nothin', ya disgustin' whore. Nothin' but a damned waste of space. An' the sooner ya disappear, the better off we'll all be.
Albie, completely drained, is escorted by Rhonda and Allegra to the chair Aaron brings over. He sits in it and he is just totally spent. Lahoma goes to help him, bringing him some soup. Anyssa is gravely worried about her friend, she goes to get some punch for him. Jennifer smirks smugly, earning her a blistering look from Libby and a savage looks-that-kill glare from everyone else. A worried Jason runs over to him.
JASON: Albs? You need me, Bae?
ALBIE (his eyes beginning to fill with tears, his voice no longer ghetto-fab): Yes. I never thought I would live to see the day I would even say this, but being around that disgusting piece of filth makes me feel like I was swimming in a toxic waste dump. She's absolutely enough to make anyone want to throw up! I feel so dirty and ill. Especially around that waste of space. Yes, Jae, I do need you, more than ever now.
JASON (softly): Don't worry, Bae. We've got your back. We'll take over for you. You did your part and you did it very well. Now, you rest in my arms.
(Albie, emotionally spent, breaks down in tears as Jason comforts him. Everyone else is worried for Albie and wanting to tear Jennifer in half.)
ANYSSA (offering her support, patting him on the shoulder): You did a lovely job on her, Albie. Now, you rest, we've got your back.
DYLAN: She won't get away with this, my friend. We'll make her pay for this!
SHEILA: Dylan and Nyssa's right, Albie. You did beautifully against that wicked witch. You're quite brave, and we're all proud of you.
AARON (Gently): Yes, we are, Albs. You gave her the business. Great work, pal.
JENNIFER (mocking): Awww, ain't this touching?! This is so disgusting that it makes me want to vomit!
(Aaron burns in fury at the insult she leveled at Albie)
AARON (disgusted): Will you listen to yourself?! That is just the kind of attitude I'd expect from a piece of crap like you, woman! That is beneath contempt, you smug bitch!
JENNIFER: Ah, shut up!
DARREN: No, YOU shut up, Barrett, and you will do so immediately! If anything makes us want to vomit, it's YOU! You know I don't like it when you hurt my best friend.
JENNIFER: Like I'd care?!
AIDAN: You'd better care! Look at what you did to him! You've truly shattered him!
JENNIFER (dismissively): My best work yet!
SHARMAINE: You would say that, you wicked woman!
DYLAN (in a rare snobbish tone): You spiteful cow! Only a depraved piece of trash like you would say something so fetid!
JASON: You truly are an evil bitch!
JENNIFER (still smug) Damn right I am, and proud of it!
(Anyssa finally lets her attacker have it. Albie helped her by telling her off, now, she aims to help him.)
ANYSSA: You have no soul, you heartless harpy! What you just did to Albie was horrible! You have tried to shatter him for years and look at what you did to him now. He's truly shattered, thanks to you!
JENNIFER (still dismissively): So?!
ANYSSA: You evil disgusting bitch! If I wasn't recovering right now, I'd beat the shit out of you! I may not look like much right now, but I'm still one hell of a fighter, I pride myself on being a rough and tumble customer. I lived and fought on the North Side of Chicago and had done rodeo for years. With that pedigree, I certainly know how to deal with trash like you!
JENNIFER: Ha! Now, I am safe from you, Forson! I came close to killing ya!
ANYSSA (venomously): You're lucky someone hasn't killed YOU! I bet there's been a long line of folk who want nothing more than to see you dead!
JENNIFER: Whatever! I kicked your ass before and I will do it again!
(Libby stands up with Anyssa)
LIBBY: You stupid egotist! If it were just you and me, I would've beat the crap out of you and kicked you all over creation for what you just did to Albie! You evil cow! If I had my way, I would love to see Anyssa take your sorry carcass out of here in a damned body bag!
ANYSSA: You'd be only fit for burying in a potter's field!
(Anyssa's words send Jennifer into a howling fit as usual whenever her ego is bruised)
JENNIFER (screaming): How can you say that?! It's just simply not true! My funeral will be a HUGE event! Every VIP in the world will come to mourn me! Everyone will come to pay their respects to me! It will be a State funeral, as befitting someone like me. I am the world's greatest model! No model alive can EVER compare to ME! When people talk about modeling, they talk about me! Everybody LOVES me!
AARON: Oh good grief! Your ego is revolting.
JULIA: She makes me want to throw up.
JENNIFER: My funeral will be a national day of morning.
LIBBY: As if!
AARON: Don't be so stupid! We'd be too busy celebrating your death! The minute your worthless carcass goes six feet under, there will be one hell of a party around Louisburg Square! We'll have one hell of a ball! It'll last about a week, or hell, even a month...or longer! You'll not be mourned, you will be cursed into the ground!
JENNIFER: But...but...but...everybody loves me! I'd be mourned universally! They would give their eyeteeth to be associated with me!
AARON: Good grief, lady, you are absolutely delusional! Nobody in their right mind would be associated with you, get that through your wool, you bitch! When you die, nobody would care, because you are nothing but a has-been! Do you hear me, slag?! Nobody! Not even your family. They have made it clear what they think of you!
JENNIFER (wailing): Lies! All lies! Quit lying on me! My family loves me! They do, they do, they do! They have to talk to me! I'm their loving daughter! Their more successful daughter! What has that damned Charlene ever done that they were proud of? I have brought my family PRESTIGE!
JASON (comforting Albie who is still in tears): You're crazy, bitch! You know that? You are completely crazy! You always have been! Your lies have caused untold amount of hurt and pain for everyone you've even bothered to touch! Just look at what you did to Albie all those years in school and look what you've done to him, now! I promise you this, you slut, you'll pay for this, and you'll pay for it dearly! You know how much I hate what you do to him. And you also know that we will NOT tolerate you hurting Albie! You've gone way out of control! Well, we're not standing for this any longer! You're a toxic woman! Always have to be in control! Well, that stops and it stops right now! It should have been stopped some time ago! Hell, even then, the Panhellenic Council wanted to kick you out of the presidency of your sorority because of your disgusting behavior! You were power-mad, then, and you're power-mad now! You're so toxic, that even your own family will not have anything to do with you!
JENNIFER (she is desperate): But they have to! They just HAVE to!
LIBBY (acidly): I don't think so, bitch! They don't HAVE to talk to you...at all! In fact, they don't have to do ANYTHING if they don't want to! I talked with your dad after he married Marta! We talked at his wedding, the one YOU shunned, because he wouldn't let you run loose as you want! He made it very clear that after you had Aidan raped and after what Aaron told him about your wretchedness around Albie, he wasn't going to speak to you again!
LIBBY (angrily): Maybe that should give you a clue, you damned slag. You give new meaning to the term, "society-licking bitch". You savaged one of my closest friends, someone I truly care about. Aside from Darren, Albie is my best male friend. I swear, bitch, D'Aiterio and I are gonna make you pay for this! But, I know this for sure, you won't ever harm him again, because if you do, and I find out that you did, I promise you, I WILL beat the living crap out of you, and I will make sure that your carcass will be taken out of here in a body bag and put in the damned MORGUE!
JENNIFER (spitefully): Oh, how I hate you! How I HATE you! I hate you all! I hate gay marriage! I hate gay people! I hate it, hate it, HATE IT! I have morals, I have dignity, and I have a deep and abiding love for all people!
(Everyone laughs at Jennifer, even Albie smiles through his tears.This infuriates her)
DYLAN: Please! Will you just listen to yourself, you pathological liar?
DYLAN: Why? Ohmigod! You really are a simpleton! You just contradicted yourself in one sentence! You said you hate gay people and then you said you had a deep and abiding love for all people! Such hypocrisy! Your lies are so constant and so numerous that it is not even funny! I wonder, Madame, do you lie to yourself, as much as you lie to everyone else?! NOBODY I have ever seen, except for the late Molly Wainwright, had a more inflated sense of ego than you do! Even Molly at her WORST was more tolerable compared to YOU!
JENNIFER (screaming): That is because I am better! I DO have a larger ego! I am proud of my egotism! I am more important than any one else! I am a model! One of the finest models since Cheryl Tiegs!
SHEILA (acidly): And even SHE would not touch you with a barge pole!
LIBBY (icily) Except to hit you with it!
JENNIFER: Damn you! Who the hell do you Harpers think you are?! NOBODY is better than me!
(This time, Wendy walks up to the evil woman. As she prepares to tell Jennifer off, Aunt India goes to Albie and gives him a hug.)
INDIA: You'll be all right, sweetheart. She'll get hers! We Harpers stick together, and that includes you all. (she smiles impishly) And also, Wendy can give 'em hell with the best of them!
JENNIFER: Oh, really?! I am better than you all are!
WENDY (quietly but angrily): No, Madame, you are not! You are nowhere near better than any of us here! What you fail to understand, Miss Barrett, is that you are dealing with a family who has more pull and more power at their disposal than you ever could imagine! You ask who we think we are?! Well, I will tell you who we are! We are the Harper family! We've left a long footprint and we've cast a very long shadow throughout New England! Boston is our domain, lady, not yours! You don't command us, nor do you give us orders like we're one of your little flunkies! We are who we are because we earned it! Through years and years of hard work, something you know nothing about! You rant and rave and throw a temper tantrum and you expect everyone to kiss your backside, and when they don't, you threaten everyone with arrest, simply because of your overinflated, bloated ego! Well, missy, I don't have to take it! And neither does anyone in this room!
JENNIFER: Stupid bitch! You can't tell me what I can and can't do!
DYLAN (savagely): Don't you dare interrupt my mother! You let her finish!
WENDY: Dylan's right. And he and Sheila are the heads of this family! They have the well-being of everyone in this room in mind. Unlike you, who uses people and throws them away, Dylan and Sheila know what the people they love need and they provide it. They have more love in their hearts than you would ever have in that black hole where your heart should be, if you even have one! You're an evil, selfish, self-centered little puissant and I would be happiest if you never came around any of us again!
JENNIFER (defiantly): Well, that's SO not going to happen! I'm better than you are! You're nothing to me! Do you hear me?! NOTHING! I am JENNIFER BARRETT, God damn it! That means I have MORE clout than ANY of you!
(Anngelique Minzell has had enough of Jennifer, her ranting and raving, her vicious mouth and her unceasing narcissism, not to mention the pain she has inflicted on Albie and the rest of the room. She walks up to her hated enemy, and slaps her hard in the face!)
ANNGELIQUE (exploding): You made one hell of a huge mistake when you threaten people I care about! You want a fight, Barrett?! Well, consider war declared, bitch! You made it clear that you hate this entire room of people, well, you're not too well liked either, Jennifer Barrett, no matter what your delusional little mind thinks! I don't give a damn if you're a model or even the Queen of England, you're a loser! A disgusting, fetid piece of sewer trash! To ruin people's lives like you do makes you nothing less than trash! Look at you, you selfish minx! You have no compassion, no feelings of mercy, NOTHING! You nearly ruined Aidan's mental health because of your recklessness and selfishness! And you just about shattered Albie over there for many years and you did it again tonight! You're an absolutely despicable human being! I don't ever want to see your face again!
JENNIFER: Well, isn't that too bad? You're going to see me anyway! EVERYBODY LOVES ME!
DYLAN (in a savage voice): No, they don't! Get that through your thick wool at once, you deluded little narcissistic slag! NOBODY loves you! Everybody HATES you! They all think you're a monster! Now, GET out of here, Jennifer Barrett! Get out of this place and out of our lives, at ONCE!
JENNIFER (smugly): No! I will not!
(India looks at Craig)
INDIA: Craig, my sweet, would you be an absolute darling and call the local constabulary on that worthless old heifer!
CRAIG (grinning): With pleasure, Aunt India.
JENNIFER: How dare you call me a heifer, you wrinkled old crow!
INDIA (quipping) Well, I admit, I might not be as young as I used to be, but I am, at least, a lady. I'm not a cobra...like YOU are! (she gives an devilish grin) As the saying goes, "if the fangs fit, wear 'em!" Fangs a lot!
(Everyone laughs at India's crazy joke; even Albie, except Jennifer, who burns with rage.)
JENNIFER: Quit laughing at me! How dare you make fun of me?! NOBODY makes fun of me! I am the Queen of Models! You'd better worship me!
LORRAINE: I'd rather worship a rock!
SAM: That's enough, Madame! I am tired of your raging.
JENNIFER: You losers don't understand how beautiful and ravishing I am.
(Jacqueline Haller is absolutely infuriated with Jennifer's narcissism!)
JACQUELINE: You are absolutely delusional! You're not beautiful, you're ugly! You're not ravishing, you're repulsive! How many times do we have to say it? We are tired of your face! We are tired of you butting into our lives every time the whim hits you! Every event we have, you inflict yourself right into it! We're tired of it! We're tired of you! We're tired of your ranting and raving! Now, get your stinking backside out of here, RIGHT now!
JENNIFER: Or what?!
AARON (grabbing his evil ex-wife and hauling her towards the door): Or I'll see you personally destroyed! You're already doomed for causing Albie all the hurt you have over the years and what you did to him now. You'll certainly burn in hell for what you did to him. Now, get the hell out of this house and out of our lives, for good!
JENNIFER: I will not! I will not let you stop me!
VIVIENNE: You will get out of this house, right now, lady! Or I will bring someone in who WILL make you get out of this house!
CATHY: And trust me, you will not be pleased with who that person is!
JENNIFER (laughing): Oh, yeah? Like who, Cathy?! Are you going to dust off your dead husbands?! You stupid nothing! David and Alan can't do a damned THING to me! At least all MINE are still alive! I didn't kill them!
CATHY (burning with fury over Jennifer's insult): You just wait, slag! Here's surprise number two!
Someone new comes into the room. Jennifer's nasty laughter and her evil merriment stops quite abruptly! Her jaw drops in absolute shock and horror!
For it is Zachary Janson! Zachary was Jennifer's second ex-husband, whom he married rather ill-advisedly! As she had with Aaron, Jennifer mainly used Zachary for his money. A highly successful and powerful businessman, he just came in from a business meeting, which explains him being in a business suit. A handsome man of six foot three, he is a strong person, with solid integrity, but he is also very kind, gentle and loving.
His blue eyes worried, he goes right straight to the exhausted Albie, still sitting in the nearby chair, and gently puts his arms around him. The petrified and distraught Albie weeps as he clings to his beloved frat brother for dear life. As everyone watches (all the while, Jennifer is burning with absolute fury since she isn't the center of attention as she wants to be), Zachary holds him close letting him cry.
Seeing their brother, Aaron, Jason, Rusty and Darren join Zachary, as does Libby. Jason is next to Zachary making sure Albie is all right. After their disastrous marriage, Zachary has absolutely no liking for Jennifer!
AARON: Zach, thank God you made it.
SHEILA: Yes, I am glad you arrived.
ZACHARY: Thank you, Ms. Harper. I remember you and your brother and how much help you gave my company.
DYLAN: Our pleasure.
JASON: Zach, just look at what that damned bitch did to him!
(Zachary glares at Jennifer, who is still smirking)
ZACHARY: I see what that horrible cow has done to him. She's totally shattered him. You were right to call me here from my meeting, Aaron. It looks like Albie needs me. He needs us now. ALL of us. She won't get away with this carnage, I promise you that!
JENNIFER: Oh, please! Nobody is better than me!
(Allegra is disgusted)
ALLEGRA: Can't you ever keep that flapping trap of yours shut?!
RHONDA: You'd better shut up, you Botox laden whore, before I mop up the floor with ya!
(Zachary looks at Albie. His gentle blue eyes hold him in their gaze)
ZACHARY (softly): Albs? Albs, It's Zachie. You're going to be all right, buddy. That woman's hurting of you will end right here and now. You're safe now and you'll always be safe. I'm here, and that malodorous slag isn't going to hurt you ever again. I'll see to that.
ALBIE (he raises his head as Zach gently wipes the tears from Albie's face): Thanks, Zach. I just feel so drained, and so, so tired. I hate her, Zachie. I hate her! (he starts crying again) Why can't she just leave me alone?
ZACHARY (gently): I know, Albs, I know. She's really hurt you and she will suffer for this. No worries, my buddy. (he strokes his head) We've got your back. She won't hurt you ever again. We'll make sure of that.
JASON (also caressing Albie's head, the love for him evident in his voice): You don't worry one moment more, Bae. Zach's got ya. I've got ya, my angel. We all do. We'll handle this bitch!
JENNIFER: You losers! As if any of you could handle ME!
JASON (whipping a nasty glare at Jennifer): I would not say that, you rotten slag! You have no call to say anything to me or to anyone else in this room! Just look and see what you've done to Albie. You've rung the bell of your own doom, Barrett! And Aaron's right, you'll burn in hell for what you did to him tonight, not to mention what you did to him over the years.
JENNIFER: Screw you, bastard! I'm PROUD of what I did!
ANNGELIQUE: You would be, you stupid skank!
CATHY: You evil bitch! I hope they destroy you!
(Cathy then slaps Jennifer for her previous insult)
JENNIFER: Bitch! I don't care what you think!
ANYSSA: Well, you whore, you'd better care! And I would advise you to shut your filthy trap! You ruined people's lives for far too long, and it's going to stop right now! I am glad that Albie had the courage to stand up to you, even in front of everyone. He was brave to even put it to you! (Anyssa gives him a smile) Besides, he's far better than you are or ever will be!
(Jennifer ignores Anyssa's ego-bruising words. She glares at Zachary viciously)
JENNIFER: Besides, fool, you mean nothing to me anymore. What brings you here to make my life hell?!
ZACHARY (holding the weeping Albie close. He caresses his hair as he unleashes his wrath on his ex-wife): I don't think you're gonna like what I have to say, Madame, but you know what? I really don't give a damn about that! Not after what you did to me! And not after what I just heard you pulled on Albie not just tonight but all the time we were in college. When I heard from my brothers what you did to your own son, I'd hoped to God that you would never have done what you'd been accused of! But when Cathy called me and confirmed to me what you did, to me that was the last straw. I've remained silent far too long, but no more. I am doing this for Aidan's sake as well as my fraternity brothers' sakes, and most of all for Albie's sake.
ZACHARY: You really are an ingrate! I was generous to you, Jennifer, in a lot of ways and things. You were wealthy, you had that condo I gave you in Orlando, and what did you do? You sold it for fun and then threw your contempt of me in my face! You did a lot of despicable things to people that you claim that you loved, but you showed, by your own actions that you have NOT loved anyone other than yourself, and even THAT is debatable! You ruined lives in Orlando. Many people's lives. They were good people, people who did nothing to you! And you ruined their lives, because you felt so above them. Far too many lives that shouldn't have been ruined, WERE ruined thanks to you, and I am NOT going to let you do the same thing to the people here in BOSTON! Now, I'm ordering you! Get the hell out of this house and out of these people's lives or I will see to it that you'll be destroyed for good! You asked how Aaron could destroy you?! Well, we got together to stop you! He and I teamed together to step in to stop your wreckage!
JENNIFER: Why you...bastard! I'll slay you!
ZACHARY: Shut up! Right now! You're not in control now! WE are! And you'll keep that foul trap of yours shut! Remember, you scheming evil bitch, our frat ties are far deeper than anything, deeper than blood! And also, you KNOW that I, along with the others, will do ANYTHING to protect Albie! Yes, I heard how you harmed him! You think I wouldn't have found out?! Aaron, Rusty, Darren and Jason told me everything! Let me remind you, you narcissist, that, however much your twisted, deluded, sick little mind might think otherwise, Albie is our fraternity brother.
ZACHARY: Shut up, I said! He is a part of OUR family, part of our lives; our hearts and our souls. I would think that you'd really ought to KNOW by now that we're an absolute army whenever his well-being is threatened! As a fraternity, we made a solemn promise to his sister, Joan, that we would look out for him, love him and care about him all the rest of his life and we WILL...even to this day! You know full well we take that promise we made to Joan very seriously. So, I'm warning you right now, Jennifer, for absolutely the last time! You leave everyone, especially our Albie, alone, or I'll make your life HELL!
(Jennifer is petrified, but she is defiant! She glares at everyone! Then she storms off. She looks at them all!)
JENNIFER: You may have stopped me today, but I will win eventually! People like me always win! I'll give you credit, Aaron, you do know how to hit below the belt! And you, Zach, you were merely adequate! (Zach fumes at the insult) But I'll get even! Mark my words! I'll destroy you all and when I do, I'll have a lovely smile on my lovely lips!
DYLAN: The only way that will ever happen, lady, is when we're all busy ice-skating in hell! The only one who will be destroyed in all of this will be you! We have the numbers on our side, and you don't. All you have is delusions of grandeur and narcissism! Now, I'm telling you one last time. Get out of here, you evil bitch! GET OUT RIGHT NOW! Before someone FATTENS those so-called "lovely lips"!
JENNIFER: You just wait! You'll all be completely destroyed!
SHEILA: LEAVE! RIGHT NOW!!!! If you ever come back, you will be arrested!
(Jennifer storms out of the room, her coat swishing!)
ZACHARY: My God! She is a vicious woman. I hope I never have to see that wicked bitch again! (He looks at Albie) She's nothing. We're more concerned about you, buddy. Are you all right, Albs?
ALBIE: Yeah, I think so.
AARON: Thank you, Zach, you timed that perfectly.
ZACHARY: For Albie, anything.
DYLAN: Thank God you guys are close.
ZACHARY: Frat blood is thicker than water and frat ties are very strong and long lasting, Dyl. We Adelante brothers will protect anyone our Albie is with. He's that special to us.
DYLAN: Well, we clearly appreciate it!
ZACHARY: My pleasure, Dyl. After all, we are ALSO brothers, although you went to Harvard.
AARON: And I think we did the best thing. I hope we've neutralized Jennifer.
ALBIE (recovered from his emotional meltdown): Me too. She really does give me a sick headache.
ZACHARY (hugging his frat brother, the most vulnerable of their number): She gives everyone a sick headache, buddy. I think she excelled at that in college. I think that was the only thing she ever excelled at, aside from being the campus whore!
LIBBY (smiling): One time at the Futura, after we moved there, Sarah Jo told me that her grades were absolutely deplorable and she'd been on academic probation many times.
ZACHARY (his arms still holding Albie close): Oh, yes. I do remember that. Her name on the Academic Probation list was permanent it seemed. She had the worst GPA of anyone I have ever seen.
JASON: It always surprised me that she graduated. If it had been anyone else, they would have been failed out of school in shame.
AARON: I found out from the registrar. She slept with the University president and also several other administrators. And so...she gained her degree, by deceit of course.
ALBIE: No surprise. I guess it shouldn't have been.
SHEILA: The thing is I feel sorry for you guys. We all do. What a burden that had to have been. To contend with that evil shrew all those years. How'd you ever manage?
AARON: A lot of things, Sheila. Mainly patience. Something I ran out of around her a very long time ago. Not to mention fortification with a lot of wine.
SHEILA: I hear what you mean! She could give ANYONE a drinking problem.
AIDAN: I hope she isn't around again, Dad.
AARON: I hope not either, buddy.
ZACHARY: So say we all, Aidan.
AIDAN: Is Albie going to be all right?
JASON: Yes, Aidan, he will be.
ALBIE (to Anyssa) I'm so sorry we stole your thunder tonight, Nyssa. This was supposed to be your evening. I mean, you having just gotten out of the hospital and all; and that rotten slag just had to come and ruin it all.
ANYSSA (grinning): Don't you worry about that, Albie. Don't you ever worry about that. It's all right. You had to confront her. It was important; it was needed to be done, and it was done. Besides, this incident has helped me far more than you'll ever know.
ALBIE: How so?
ANYSSA: It really made my night to see you rip that woman who injured me so fiercely to shreds. That was worth the price of admission watching. Not to mention me being able to get my two cents in against that ghoul, after she was the one who led me into being hospitalized! That was the topper to this party. You are a brave person, braver than I ever thought you could be. And I'm glad you were able to tell her off after all she did to you! You helped us both. I salute you, Albie.
AIDAN (grinning) We all do, Albie.
(Jason and Zachary hold Albie close and comfort him. Aidan pats him on the shoulder. Anyssa brings him a cup of punch, which he drinks gratefully. Lahoma brings him a plate of food, and he eats his share. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief while the scene fades.)